


christmas crackers

by CrazyPrepared (writerofberk)



Series: have yourself a merry little christmas [10]
Category: Trolls (Movies 2016 2020)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerofberk/pseuds/CrazyPrepared
Summary: "It's tradition, Branch! Whoever wins the cracker wears the crown!""It doesn't matter, because I'm not wearing it," Branch says."Oh, yes, you are," Poppy says right back.
Relationships: Branch/Queen Poppy (Trolls)
Series: have yourself a merry little christmas [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053290
Comments: 16
Kudos: 30





	christmas crackers

"Oh! Let's see what ya got, buddy! Show us what you got!"

Branch scowls and rubs lightly at his ears—the sharp _pop_ of the Christmas crackers is _murder,_ and loud enough to give him a damn heart attack every time—but he pours out whatever the hell it holds inside, which is undoubtedly _not_ worth all the noise to get it, down onto the table.

"Oh, my gosh, look!" Satin lets out a gasp and snatches a miniature sewing kit up out of the pile. "It's so _tiny_! Look at the little needle! Oh, my gosh, Chen, look at this!"

Guy Diamond shakes out the slip of paper with a soft rustle and lets out a loud, delighted laugh. "Hey, guys, why don't eggs tell jokes?"

Poppy lets out a little giggle. "Okay, why?"

"Because they'd _crack each other up_!" Guy wheezes out, pounding his fist on the table.

Poppy collapses into complete hysterics.

"That wasn't even funny," Branch says. He pokes at the pile of trinkets the cracker held (minus what Satin and Guy already grabbed) and picks out a thin, flimsy piece of bright red paper, with a series of jagged spikes cut into the top. Like some weird sort of crown.

He holds it up to show off to the table. "What is _this_?"

Chenille laughs, which is very much not a Chenille thing to do. "Oh, yeah, you have to wear that."

Branch blinks. That sounds like the kind of thing she would just make up off the top of her head to mess with him, but he can never be too sure with her. " _What_?"

"Ooh, yes!" Biggie squeezes Mr. Dinkles tight to his chest. "It's tradition, Branch! Whoever wins the cracker wears the crown!"

Branch looks back down at the paper crown clutched in his fist, flopped limply over his fingers. "You guys are _so_ weird."

"Hey!" Smidge punches him in the shoulder, which feels about the same as a hammer to the skull. "It's a _village_ tradition. Not just ours!"

"Sure," Branch says.

"No, no!" Poppy pries herself up off the table and shakes her head, swiping at the makeup smeared on her face. "It's totally legit! The crown thing is a real tradition! You can ask Dad!"

"It doesn't matter, because I'm not wearing it," Branch says.

"Oh, yes, you are," Poppy says right back.

And, all of a sudden, she jumps up in her seat, snatches the paper crown out of his hand, and _launches_ _herself_ over the table at him.

"Poppy! No! What are you _doing_?!" Branch doesn't know how in the world his chair doesn't tip over when Poppy lands firmly on his legs, but it _does_ let out a loud creak and a wobbly kind of shudder, so he grabs for her waist to steady her before she falls. "Get off me! What is _wrong_ with you?!"

"If you'd put it on _yourself_ , I wouldn't have to!" Poppy says, like she had no choice at all, like she didn't have the option to just stay in her seat and leave him alone, like a normal troll with a normal sense of boundaries would. "Now hold _still_ , damn it!"

"No! Get off me!"

"Guys! You're messing up the table!" Biggie says, almost frantic, like _that's_ what they should all be worried about right now, like Branch _doesn't_ currently have a bright pink menace on his knees, who will probably fall on her backside in the next ten seconds if she doesn't stop squirming and twisting like a fish out of water. "You'll break the plates!"

" _He_ is messing up the table!"

" _You_ are messing up the table!" Branch fires back, which has to be the most childish response available, but it's the only thing he can come up with. "You probably messed it up when you _crawled_ _across the plates_ to—"

With one final swivel, and a flick of her wrist, Poppy clasps the crown on his head, where it immediately slips and slides down to catch on his ears.

"See?" she lets out a soft little huff and leans up in his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck to stay steady, her body warm against his. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Get off me."

"Mm," she cocks her pink head to the side, like she has to think about it, but he already knows she's not going to make it that easy on him, "no. Not really feelin' that yet. Think I'll hang out here a little longer."

"I'll drop you," he tells her.

"You won't," Poppy says, so confident she borders dangerously on _smug_. "Because I'm the light of your life, and you love me, and you adore me, and you have no idea what you'd do without me."

"Shut up," Branch says.

He doesn't drop her.

**Author's Note:**

> this one's a little late because it was my birthday yesterday which is the worst day ever and i got sucked down into the Birthday Depression Spiral and i couldn't muster the energy to do jackshit. 
> 
> so i'll (probably) post double today, there should be another one up tonight, and then the final one will be on Christmas Eve.
> 
> also this has nothing to do with anything but i am OBSESSED with the idea that Poppy and Guy Diamond both love stupid puns and i was delighted to get to include that in a fic


End file.
